As always, I'll start by saying how words fail me. I often fuse fear with desire, and this jumbled concoction is powerful, strange and stings.

I feel like I keep leaving my heart up in the air, in my sleeve for others to catch, and I'm tired.. a bit weary of this tug of hearts. Of holding space for it all, I have limited space, in an unlimited place.

For so long, I've run. From myself, from something inside that shows me but a veil of the truth it covers. Through thsi all though, my intuition has gotten a bit louder, and I'm happy for that. Whata is this ?!! This strange voice that whispers of surity, or numbers and months, it's all around us. Within us, and beyond us at once.. can it really be we're swirling masses of focussed energy in this dimension ? It would support the string theory and this mad world.. 

And now I think I know what I feared, and I know where this is going.. sigh...

I do know that I'll be where I'm meant to be.. That as sad as it is, I'm not responsible for the lives of others.. I'm indeed lucky to have another life here.. and I'm learning my pattern from a different vantage point if nothing. Evolution won't follow linear paths, so it's okay. 

You can be in the same place twice, but how about 20 times ? It's a thinker. 

And so I fear.. I fear that this will be a fight I have to wield. It could also be a beautiful balance if there's understanding and patience. If I stand up for myself... but it could also blend into something with fire, passion growth, and adventure.. we see each other, and stay. we take bold risks, we live, we fight, we make up, we believe, we trust, and we love fiercely. Each other and the people around us. we make each other better and we support each other and have common goals.. we crush them, we make love like we're at war.

As the voice of the audience grows, the light on them does too.. and in that moment I see clearly.


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